IMPORTANT -- READ CAREFULLY: This End-User License Agreement ("EULA") is between you and me. By clicking on "I agree" below, you agree to the terms of this EULA. You are then granted the rights under the product license. If you don't agree to the terms of this EULA, click on "I don't agree" below. You may then view the conventional, abbreviated CV, but you are not granted any additional rights.
PRODUCT LICENSE:
My hip, cyber-stylish CV ("HCSCV") is written in a style and voice associated with popular, wholesome content-creation on the Web. HCSCV is not intended to provide any true facts, characterizations, inferences, or conclusions of any sort about the real me. My life is my own, and it is protected by my unique identity as a real person. You are only granted the right to laugh, be amused, feel good, or be stolidly unmoved upon reading HCSCV. You are not allowed to acquire any facts or understanding about me from HCSCV. Any thoughts of any sort that you have upon reading HCSCV are expressly disallowed under this license. Under this license you accept sole ownership of your thoughts, and you agree not to make any claims regarding the relationship between your thoughts and HCSCV. In short, you accept that HCSCV is meaningless entertainment.
No warranty as to the suitability or fitness of HSCSV for inducing laughter or enjoyment is expressed or implied. In viewing HCSCV, you assume all liability for your laughter or enjoyment. I ASSUME NO LIABILITY FOR YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR OR FOR YOUR PERCEPTION OF MINE EXCEPT TO THE EXTENT NORMAL AND CUSTOMARY IN CIVILIZED SOCIAL INTERACTION. TO THE EXTENT THAT I NEVER MEET YOU IN PERSON I ASSUME NO LIABILITY WHATSOEVER EXCEPT IF SOME STATES AND JURISDICTIONS REQUIRE OTHERWISE.
Note: My hip, cyber-stylish CV was previously available without a EULA. However, an intelligent, caring cousin of mine kindly informed me that I'm not as pathetic and nerdy as my hip, cyber-stylish CV indicates. To address possible misunderstandings, I have now added this End-User License Agreement, in accordance with standard industry practice.